Week 8 and 9

I have done a lot better in the past two weeks. All of my coaches are aware of my +1 and I have started telling friends at the gym.

I have definitely struggled with a couple of things. It is frustrating going into new classes, not knowing anyone, and having to scale the way I do. I didn't think this was going to be an issue, but apparently I didn't realize how competitive I was. It is aggravating to do a workout that 2 months ago I was able to do with 30 more pounds on the bar, yet I am struggling through it the same way. I hate meeting new people and feeling like I have to explain why I am going so light on my weight, as if they even care.

I have also had a heck of a time dealing with weight gain. I used to be heavier in high school and when I look back at pictures, I always think "Never Again." I never wanted to allow myself to get over a certain weight and now that weight is rapidly approaching. I don't mind gaining a belly and once it is popped, I think it will be adorable. But no one tells you about the first trimester when you are just...pudgy. I feel/look like I just ate Chipotle and drank a bunch of beer and I can't suck my gut in. But my boobs are getting bigger, which makes push-ups much easier... and that's pretty awesome.

We have done testing in the past couple of days to look for 1 rep max in cleans, dead lifts, snatch and push press. We also did time trials.

Testing is a real bummer because you're really not supposed to be maxing out once you are pregnant. It is also a bummer because I have been working hard to increase these numbers.. and I never got a final verdict on how I have progressed. Luckily they weren't too much of a disappointment, except my mile time. That was about a minute slower than my last time trial 3 months ago.

Do you know that little voice inside of your head that pushes you along in your workouts? The one that goes " You can do Fran in under 6 minutes, you can do this quickly, too." Or "You have lifted more than that several times, you can lift this easily." Yeah, well, that voice is gone. There is absolutely no one inside of my head pushing me to gain anything in the gym. All I hear is "Don't go too fast... baby can't breathe." Dang it, baby.

I guess one thing that has gotten me through all of these struggles is the thought that there are many women who struggle with infertility and that would love to be in my position. Joshua and I were very blessed to be able to get pregnant as quickly as we did, and so far have a healthy baby. I need to rejoice a little more in my blessing, than be a whiny pregnant woman. There is nothing worse than a pregnant woman complaining about getting fat!